Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
