im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
