Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize