so explain again why im purple
no
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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