Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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