dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize