I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
