my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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