You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize