Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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