i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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