4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
