I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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