So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
