so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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