What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i think i just lost a toe
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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