S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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