this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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