How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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