why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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