I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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