So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
