And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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