Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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