Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
