There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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