LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
