So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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