D3 body, D1 cock
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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