do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
