When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
