Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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