Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
