yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
