So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
