Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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