Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
