i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
