he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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