whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
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