i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
