I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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