No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
