How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
