If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I party with great urgency now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
