I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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