I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my poor anus
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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