You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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