Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
