It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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