11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
