i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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