i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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