No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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