1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
