just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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